Friday the 13th Weekend
17 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Church 1.0, Just My Thoughts
I’m not superstitious, but I do have a belief in answered prayer. The first one was an answer to a prayer I hadn’t even prayed. It began last Thursday night with a voicemail on my home land line that I almost deleted before listening to it very carefully. But I did listen a second time, and then I realized what was happening.
Over two months ago, I had lost a brand-new wallet. It wasn’t stolen; I just plain lost it due to my own carelessness. I realized it was missing as soon as I got home that day, and I retraced my steps all the way back to the store where I knew I had lost it. But no one had found it and turned it in, so I just figured I would have to cut my losses.
Now the manager of that store was leaving me a voicemail, saying he had found my wallet and got my home phone number from the checkbook (so I knew the checkbook was still there). I could hardly wait until the next morning (Friday the 13th) to be able to stop by the store and retrieve it. I was sure it had been stripped of all the credit cards and cash. Imagine my surprise when I found *everything* intact! From the book of stamps, to *all* my credit cards, to the over $200 in cash–every penny was there!
The second prayer request I did pray in Church 1.0 the next day, for my 7-months-pregnant daughter-in-law who had not been able to sleep for 3 weeks. The very next day she reported that my son had gotten up with the baby (on Sunday morning) so she could sleep a little longer, and he continued to take care of the baby so she could even get a nap. (All this without me saying a word to my son.) This week, so far, she has been a much happier mommy!
The third prayer I prayed fervantly, and it quite possibly saved my job! For the first time in all my 10+ years in this job, I failed to submit payroll on time (which should have been on Thursday). I submitted it the next day (Friday the 13th), and then called the payroll service to beg them to expedite it; they said they would try but couldn’t promise anything. If payroll were a day late, the employees would not get their direct deposits on time and many bills would not be paid (especially in my own case where I had hundreds of dollars at stake). So you can imagine my visible relief this morning (payday) when I logged on to my online banking account and saw that the money was there! Thank you, God! Thank you, ADP!
Now. If only I can get an answer to dealing with the ongoing high stresses of the workplace itself, before I lose my job and/or my sanity, whichever goes first….
First Post of 2012
07 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Church 1.0
We woke this morning in quiet anticipation of Church 1.0 on the first Shabbat of the new year. We expected that a lot of people would be back from their holidays, and we were right. It felt good to see everyone! I was the only one there in a dress, until Lily came in with Stephen near the end of the service.
Not surprisingly, we talked about beginnings. Obed seemed to have really liked the “Day of New Beginnings” video that I had posted on Facebook. I felt pleased that he mentioned it.
Obed led out in a poem-writing work to help us better understand ourselves, our hopes, our fears, our dreams, especially for the year that lies ahead. The result was a three-stanza poem–we each wrote one–which I am going to post below without further comment. Only those who were at Church 1.0 today will fully understand. The rest of you can only imagine my insanity.
I am lucid. I am love.
I wonder where my children’s baby pictures are.
I hear Linda’s voice.
I see my grandson.
I want a new watch.
I am lucid. I am love.
I pretend to cook.
I feel young again.
I touch Barley’s soft fur.
I worry about being misunderstood.
I cry with Linda’s pain.
I am lucid. I am love.
I understand that God is love.
I say that God created all things.
I dream about flying.
I try to wake up when my alarm clock rings.
I hope for Linda to have less pain.
I am lucid. I am love.
New Year’s Eve
31 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
in Church 1.0, Family Time, Just My Thoughts, Second Wind
How appropriate that 2011 should begin and end on Shabbat! It hardly seems possible that a whole year has passed since we began 2011 attending Second Wind and then enjoying a family-time car trip down to Pacifica and back. So much has happened. 2011 has been a year of chapter endings, just as 2010 had been a year of new beginnings. Yet, as the song says, “If there’s no end, there can be no beginning; there can be no beginning, if there’s no end.”
It was important for us to be at Church 1.0 today at Peter’s house. Friends sharing our spiritual journies, individually and collectively. It was important to reflect on all that has happened, and to resolve to be open for changes in our paths even as we plan ahead for the future.
It is 90 minutes until midnight. We are spending a quiet evening at home, watching everyone else on Facebook around the world, time zone by time zone, experience the new year. While we are just enjoying our cabernet with bread and cheese.
Tomorrow will truly be a day of new beginnings.
Regression
15 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment
I feel like my life is going backwards. I think it started when Ted Wilson was elected General Conference president and declared that the church should go back to “traditional” Adventism of the 1950s. SF Central church certainly went backwards, starting in 2004 and finishing (with purging the church of those damn lesbians) in 2008. California went backwards when it allowed Prop 8 to reverse the legal marriage provision in California. And now the Republicans are trying to “return” the United States “back” to being a “Christian” nation. To those of us passionate about separation of church and state, that’s scary.
At work, in my assigned task of making the bank deposits, I have been told I can no longer use QuickBooks—including entering the checks directly into the accounting software and using the pre-printed bank-approved deposit forms to print out deposit tickets. So it’s back to filling in deposit tickets manually or creating some sort of workaround with an Excel spreadsheet. Like I did at USIC in 1997.
At home, the dishwasher has stopped getting the dishes clean. No matter what brand of detergent we use. So we have to go back to washing the dishes by hand first, scrubbing with brushes and scouring pads, before putting them into the dishwasher to sterilize them with high heat. Or just putting them in the dish drainer to air dry. The washing machine is starting to have fits, becoming unbalanced with regular loads, not just with rugs. The dryer takes more than one cycle to get the clothes completely dry. I’m fully expecting to do what my grandmother did in the ’50s—wash clothes by hand in the kitchen sink and hang them over the bathtub to dry (there’s no place outside to hang them where they wouldn’t get dirty again in the polluted city air).
At both home and work, the internet/network/computer (take your pick of one or more) runs impossibly slower and slower. Office 2003 (yep, no one at home or at work has upgraded since then) is beginning to malfunction in subtle ways, as well as some features of Windows 7 (yeah, like putting old wine into new bottles), such as Windows Movie Maker, not working right. Furthermore, my home computer has started making “funny noises” which Linda has identified as indicative of an impending hard-drive crash. This has led me, in a panic, to totally restructure my hard drive and external drives configuration and get serious about using the Windows backup function to at least be prepared for a hard drive (or mainboard) demise in the near future. The RAM and processor speed that was cutting-edge technology when this computer was new in January of 2009 is now barely adequate for anything.
At least I do use my cell phone for voice calls and texting. It’s not a smart phone. I don’t need one. I have my iPod. Tonight I got out my old “Palm Pilot” Zire 31 and hope to sync my Outlook Contacts with it after it gets charged. That will do until I am forced to go back to a paper address book.
Tomorrow at work I shall make sure I have a ballpoint pen (that works) and a narrow-ruled legal pad.
September Sequel
11 Sep 2011 Leave a Comment
in Church 1.0, Family Time, Just My Thoughts
Today is September 11, the 10-year anniversary of the devastating national and personal events that changed my life-as-I-knew-it—forever. I was working at my cushy “dream job” at an engineering firm in San Francisco, had just returned from a lovely car trip vacation to Canada, and had received an employee-of-the-month award, along with a crisp one-hundred-dollar bill! Little did I know that within a week the administrative services department that I worked for would become decentralized and that we all would be pink-slipped in a single day. I still attribute this to the bleak economic forecast as a result of the 9/11 tragedy. A week after my life at Degenkolb came to an end, I was sent by the temp agency I had signed up with to a job that became my permanent employment three months later—at $10,000 less annually than my “dream job”—and was a job that I hated intensely and vowed to leave before my COBRA was due to run out 18 months later. But, because of the reality of the economic downturn precipitated by 9/11, I was not able to find another job—not even for “missionary wages” at the local church school!
Ten years later, I am still in that job. After a long struggle to deal with the bitterness and resentment of losing my “dream job” before I even had a chance to become fully vested in the company’s 401(k), I finally moved into resigned acceptance of the new job. When my COBRA ran out, I even reluctantly (though I had no other choice) accepted Kaiser medical benefits coverage and gave up my beloved doctor of choice. I can’t pinpoint exactly when things changed, because it was so gradual. It was not because anything about the job changed, but because, little by little, I had to adjust my attitude.
Now, the executive director for whom I worked has retired, and the new boss—who has been there a month—and I are getting to know each other. In a way, it’s almost like having a new job. Except that I’m the one who knows where the pencils are. While it’s too early to make any firm predictions, I have every reason to believe that a new chapter is beginning for the foundation.
My sweet grandson Ayden turned one year old last week! I wanted so much to be there for that celebration, but too many miles separate us. He is growing and learning so fast, and I literally ache to be with him again. I cherish every picture and post on Facebook from his parents, my son and daughter-in-law in Texas. And I cherish my daughter, who lives nearby, a proud pet parent of a chihuahua-dachshund named Hamlet.
Unitarian Church in San Francisco
Finally, after a summer of sleep-in Saturday mornings, one of our friends from Kinship and Second Wind has taken the initiative to start Church 1.0 Beta, a three-month trial of meeting on Saturday mornings in a rented space at the Unitarian Universalist Church in San Francisco. Yesterday, our first meeting there, we had over 20 adults, 2 children, and one dog (Barley). The chapel where we met is round and tall, with 8 exquisite banners, representing world religions, hanging on the walls. There are tall, skinny stained glass windows that let in light and color. Marcos, a former Adventist pastor, led out in a study on Jacob’s family. Best of all for Linda, she was able to play a magnificent Steinway grand piano to accompany the singing of hymns and praise songs.
We came home on a spiritual, musical, and emotional high! Still, life itself is dynamic and always subject to change. But, for this moment, we are content.
New Beginnings
07 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
A little over a year and a half ago, as 2010 was beginning, I wrote that it was a year of new beginnings. Naomi and Scott had just found out that they were going to have their first child in approximately eight months, making me, of course, a grandmother! Then on January 11 of last year, the foundation I had worked for since 2001 moved physically to a new location, with guess-who functioning as facilities manager in charge of the logistics of moving. Finally, Second Wind, our spiritual home in San Francisco moved from its temporary location in Fort Mason to a new permanent home in a rented space above an auto parts store in the Mission district on South Van Ness.
And throughout all of last year, we enjoyed seeing what would develop in our “new beginnings”—especially eager to follow the pregnancy and birth of our precious grandson Ayden who was born on the eve of Rosh Hashana. The foundation settled nicely into our new offices in uptown Oakland, all of us enjoying the increased space, adequate filing cabinets, and the absence of rodents. And, for once, we could set up our Second Wind Kids’ space with furniture and decorations that could stay there week after week, as we delighted in our teaching opportunities and watching our wonderful little children grow and learn.
Little did we know, when we began 2011, that our “new beginnings” would quickly change into “chapter endings.”
It was barely June when we learned that Second Wind was financially unsustainable and would need to “take a break” from the format to which we had grown accustomed. In short, it meant we had to physically move out from our beloved space on South Van Ness; and we would, once again, be bringing all the children’s programming things back to our already overcrowded house. June 25 meant an abrupt end to our Saturday morning spiritual experience as we had grown to know it.
June 30 was the last day for the foundation’s executive director, who retired after 19 years in that position. It would be 30 days before a new executive director—who had already made it clear that she did not like the office facilities we were in—would step into that position.
Our precocious grandson Ayden, too busy with growing and teething and learning to crawl, walk, and talk all at the same time, weaned himself at the age of nine months. He was rapidly catapulting into his new beginnings!
July was a welcome respite, a time when we could step out of the unsolicited changes that were taking place and spend time preparing for, enjoying, and then recovering from Kinship Kampmeeting—a time to reconnect, relax, and rejuvenate, before having to once again deal with the brutal realities of change.
Now it is August. The new executive director is at the foundation. We have no idea how long we will be there. Or who will still be there when the dust settles. Another Second Wind member has gathered us together, those of us who are interested, and is beginning discussions of the possibilities of a new spiritual community. We are intrigued. And Ayden, our sweet boy Ayden, is going to become a big brother in another eight months!
Thus, life flows on.
Heritage Singers
13 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
in Family Time
It was on Friday night that I just happened to see the announcement on Facebook that the Heritage Singers would be performing at the Grand Avenue church in Oakland on Saturday night. I told Linda about it and was mildly surprised that she indicated she might like to go.
Saturday dawned sunny and cool but not cold. We knew that Obed and Marcos and Stephen and Daneen would not be at Second Wind as they had decided to step into what is toxic for many of us–San Francisco Central Church–and made even more so this weekend by the presence of Ron Woolsey who claims to be an “ex-gay.” What and who will they encounter? Will they get film footage or engage in conversation with this human being whom I consider to be devious and deceptive? Must wait patiently for their reports!
Linda and Barley and I found the handicapped access into the church and made our way down the left side aisle. As expected, we saw Peter and Jose, the Chapman family, Harry and his mother Ruby, Carol and her mother, and others that Linda knew from the church.
The current Heritage Singers group has seven singers, who are on their 40th Anniversary tour. Their choice of repertoire for this concert was so totally appropriate for Grand Avenue; and they performed, as always, flawflessly. It was such a blessing for us, especially for Linda, who could step out of her chronic pain for a few moments. The music was upbeat and fun and meaningful.
Linda was happy but tired, and we did not stay for the reception, but I’d really like to order a CD online. We found out later that the concert had been live streamed! Good thing Linda did not know that in advance, or I might not have been able to convince her to go in person.
Albion: Saturday
26 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
in Second Wind
The morning was sunny and cold. By 9 a.m., the sun had melted the snow in the sunny spots but not in the shade. I shared breakfast duty with Sara and Murray; and then after oatmeal and fruit and coffee, we all headed down to the lodge.
Elinor was napping and the older kids were out on their own adventure, but Lily was awake and aware. Linda and I had our box of kids’ stuff with us, plus the songs and stories on her laptop. The Second Wind group sang several contemporary Christian songs, and Lily waved cardboard butterflies and felt birds to the music, and made sure Linda and I and her mom and dad had butterflies and birds, too! When Greg started talking, though, Linda and Stephen and I took Lily and the laptop into the back room and “did” the rest of the program. Only afterwards did we discover there was another room on the other side of the building that would be more soundproof than the back of the main room separated only by a plastic divider. Well, next year!
The food tastes better here, I think because we’re all more relaxed. We ate a spaghetti and salad lunch with Obed and Thomas and Jordan and Stephen and Peter.
Well, you know, we “old ladies” needed a nap after Sabbath lunch, and so we indulged. Even naps here are more peaceful, more restful!
We closed the Sabbath hours with another lectio divina, led by Shasta. (You’ll have to Google it if you don’t know what it means.) It’s a wonderful way to connect spiritually with your Source, as the daylight fades in the unlit room, and darkness settles like a welcome cloak of the Voice you needed to hear.
After supper, we enjoyed visiting with friends and then watching the extraverts do karaoke while Shasta passed around popcorn and grapes. What a great group Second Wind is! We are so diverse, yet so homogeneous in mind and spirit. We are gay, straight, and transgender; vegetarian, vegan, and omnivore; young, old; married, single, partnered; of all races, cultures, and religious backgrounds. There is so much comfort and lack of tension for any reason. What a gift from God!
Albion: Friday night
25 Feb 2011 Leave a Comment
in Second Wind
It was a lovely four-hour drive to Albion today, beginning with a cold but sunny day in the Bay Area, and getting increasing colder as we increased in altitude. But the scenery was awesome–hills thick with evergreens, tall redwoods shading the winding roads, and a spattering of snow on the nearby mountaintops.
Linda and I love car trips and so does Barley. About halfway, we discovered that we had failed to bring his bag which I had so carefully packed this morning! So we stopped at Raley’s in Windsor and picked up a few snacks, including his favorite, duck strips. We drove through some delightful snow flurries, wondering if this was a hint of what was to come over the weekend.
When we arrived just before dark, Shasta was there to greet us; and Greg and Thomas helped us carry our things into our cabin after we checked in at the office. The room is cozy, nicer than we remembered from last year, and our black quilted coats feel very good. It was great to see our friends who had arrived and who continued to arrive for the soup supper that preceded “Bread & Jam” in the lodge with the fireplace.
After supper, when we left the dining hall for the lodge, we discovered it was hailing, which soon turned to snow. What a treat! The “kids” played outside for awhile, throwing snowballs and making a snowman on the patio, while the grownups sat inside and sang and worshipped.
Now Linda and Barley are sleeping, and I must retire soon, as I am on breakfast duty in the morning. This spiritual retreat is SO very much needed by everyone. So glad to be here!
Second Wind Kids
29 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in Second Wind
We were hoping both Lily and Elinor would be there this morning, but we at least had Lily. And Pali. She was in *such* a good mood (Lily, that is–Pali’s always in a good mood 
, especially when she found a chicken strip in my tote bag! ).
It was only the second time doing the “Little Jesus, Happy Helper” program and it’s such a good program, with great songs and lots of action. I sort of follow the GraceLink programs but substitute and add in (and leave out) things, based on what I know works best with our kids there. We’re still teaching about the Torah and Quran, along with the Bible.
It is so fun watching the girls grow and develop new skills. Especially when they haven’t been there for awhile–even if it’s only a couple of weeks–it seems like they have matured in so many ways. Lily started out wanting to play with Play-doh (and she talks up a storm now, at 25 months!). She was not obsessed with scissors this week (whew!) but she did a lot of doll play.
Linda and I are very flexible with the program. If Lily gets distracted with something else in the room, we incorporate it into the program on the fly! Like today when she spied the rubber duckies behind the curtain in front of the storage shelves. So we got out the blue dishpan and let her put the duckies in and sang about the “ducks swimming in the pond” (Ladder of Life) as one of the things little Jesus saw on His nature walk.
I found and purchased a delightful Steve Green children’s CD of Bible verses with great upbeat music, and we’re using the song, ”Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right” (Eph. 6:1) in this program. Lily loves the song, dances to it and everything, and has to hear it over and over. But she did *not* want to leave this morning when her daddy came to get her and put her jacket on her. Linda started singing the song with, “Lily, obey your daddy in the Lord…” and she *really* didn’t like that! But finally she gave us good-bye hugs and went with Stephen.
